Ruminations (and some sewing, too)

I have had a few complaints (ok, one complaint) that this blog is getting too crafty.  So I figured I'd share some thoughts I've been having lately before I post the photos of my new project.

I recently started working part-time.  It's a dream situation, actually - good pay; very short and flexible hours; and a two-minute commute.  I figured that I wouldn't be spending any more time away from the girls than I already had been, what with running errands and going to the gym on the mornings our nanny comes.  No big deal, right?

Wrong.

You wouldn't believe the second-guessing that has gone on.  And hte guilt.  The guilt!  Why is it that I was fine leaving the girls home with Irina to go to the gym, and to the post office, and to the grocery store, but the minute I leave them at home and get paid for something, it's guilt city?  I cannot imagine what it's like to be a full-time working mother.

Guilt aside, there's this weird compartmentalization that goes on in my brain, too.  As I was walking to work my first day in a pair of painful high heels I'd just cleared of a thick coating of dust, it occurred to me that I was going to have to blow the dust off of my work brain, too.  You know (especially those of you in the FS) - that part of your brain that remembers the bajillions of passwords, safe combinations and security system codes that a State Department job entails?  Yeah, that part of my brain is really rusty.

I am finding that, maybe because I don't put in more than about 3.5 hours at the office at a stretch, my brain has to change gears dramatically during my walks to and from work.  I go from calculating the number of poops I've changed that morning to making a mental checklist of what needs to get done at work.  I go from logging my hours on my accounting forms to tabulating the food groups my girls have ingested so far and trying to plan a dinner that will balance it all out.  Somehow, my brain can't focus on both things at once.

It's getting easier, but still, working while mothering is a lot harder than I had thought it would be.

Switching gears now ...

I've been working on these little reversible drawstring bags the last few days (tutorial is here if you are interested).   N has some little toys that had been living in plastic baggies, and as I noted the other day, I am trying to de-plastic-baggie our living space as much as possible.  I love projects that use up scraps, since I can't bring myself to toss them!